Last year was a tough time for many including myself. I had set goals both in my business and personal life that quite frankly, I did not achieve! In fact there were some goals that didn’t even register on my ‘win, grin, success is in’ barometer! I didn’t win, had little to grin about and as for success, well that went out with the bath water!
More profoundly, there was an unfamiliar shift in my belief system and the ideas and concepts that once held me together, became the stark reality tearing me apart!
There were times when I felt like I was navigating on Route 66 – without a road map! Only there were no kicks on this 66! I felt lost, lacking and at times lonely! My dreams were dimming fast and everything I had worked so hard for was caving in and crashing down! Despair wouldn’t leave me alone!
But I decided I was NOT about to give up? Was it time to call it quits and throw in the towel? Hell NO! Not this Unshakable Chic! ‘I’ve worked too hard and come too far to give up now’ was Monday’s mantra that followed me thru to the rest of the week as well!
So hell to the no on giving up and YES to address the things you need to survive, feel alive and thrive in 2016! Some things dear friends, have just got to go! And I should know. Because when things got really dark, I had to reach inside of me and somehow hold on to the light. When tears rolled down my cheeks, I’d roll up my sleeves and kick myself into ACTION!
And so in today’s blog, I’m going to share a little more about what you need to turn your frown upside down and keep moving towards your dream! How to get what you think, in sync with success! And the 7 things you need to leave behind in 2015:
If it is not self-serving, it has to go and that includes self-doubt! When your inner gremlins get the better of you and bombard you with thoughts of ‘I’m not good enough’ or “I can’t do this’ it’s time to let them know who’s boss!
Get rid of any mischievous chatter and change the conversation in your head. Listen to the other voice within that’s telling you ‘damn it, I got this, ain’t nobody got this like me!’ 🙂
Learn to Trust yourself!
Negative thinking is negative linking! When you’re plagued with negative thoughts you invariably link to negative outcomes.
Even when the day is not going so good and difficult challenges keep coming your way, taking a positive stance has the quality of transforming the experience.
You are the vehicle of change in your life so whether you choose to be up beat or beat down, you ultimately determine the ride!
Fear of Failure
Success is not a straight line and is often a journey laden with failure! If you want success you must learn to embrace its counterpart… failure!
Failure is not final or fatal but merely an opportunity to find the best in you! Each time I have failed, I get up and do it just that little bit better.
I become richer, more refined and more ready for whatever comes my way!
Failure is a good thing and when you get this, you overcome the fear because you understand that failure it is a necessary part of the process.
You have become so pre-occupied with pleasing others you’ve taken your own wants and needs out of the picture! You say yes when you really want to say no!
Does this sound like you? You’re forever vying for the love and respect of those around you? You care more about what others think and sacrifice your own views and opinions because it’s easier to go along to get along! You’re entire existence revolves around your commitment to family, friends, co-workers and anyone else you feel compelled to squeeze in!
People pleasing is deeply rooted in either a fear of rejection and/or fear of failure.
What happens when you say no? Does it all start coming apart at the seams? If you fear it will, perhaps it’s time to re-evaluate the premise of your relationships.
Stop neglecting yourself and give yourself permission to be the priority in your life! This is not being selfish. It is being Self-Full. You become so Full to the brim with Self, you delightfully over-flow with good health, self-expression, self-confidence and the quality of being fully present and accounted for!
Self-Criticism or Self-Hatred
Self-Criticism is a good thing if it supports your growth and expansion as a human being. But if criticism of yourself is dispensed with less care and caution that you give to your best friend, you need to STOP! You are being too hard on yourself and could be bordering on Self-hatred.
Each time you criticise yourself in a harsh and heart-less way, it sets you off on a destructive path of self-loathing. Self-loathing goes hand in hand with self-sabotage and self-sabotaging behaviours.
As a passionate proponent and advocate of Self-love, I believe that kindness starts with me! Read more
My failures and success, darkness and light, highs and lows, good, bad, warts and all, are all part of the wonderful tapestry that is me, that is YOU!
Acceptance of Self is the true embodiment of Self-love.
It is kindness and acceptance turned inwardly.♥
Procrastination really is the thief of time! The longer you procrastinate, the more time you waste. And the thing about time, once it’s gone, you can never get it back!
Time is the most precious commodity and unlike money or material possessions that you can place a value on, time is priceless.
Procrastination can be very alluring especially with the million and one distractions out there on a daily basis. And what better way to justify your procrastination than hiding behind the unimportant tasks that give the appearance of work but in reality, it’s not!
I have found the best antidote for procrastination is purposeful ACTION! Deciding at the beginning of the day, or when you find yourself in the grasp of a procrastinating moment, to replace it with a constructive, measurable ACTION towards your goal or project.
Giving in to procrastination is a sure way to rob you of the meaning, purpose and success you deserve. You are the driving force of your life and ultimately defined by what you do, not by what you don’t!
When procrastination comes knocking, ask yourself, what’s the best thing I could be working on, and if I’m not, why not? Keep on keeping on is a sure plan that will get you from zero to turbo!
Perfectionist are never satisfied and often spend so much time on getting every little detail perfect, they miss the inherent imperfections along the way.
I have learned that it is ok to have flaws. When I accept my own flaws it opens me up to seeing the beauty in all people and all things, flaws and all.
While it is important to strive for better, perfectionism is a journey and not a destination. This leaves room for improving upon the day before and enjoying the heck out of it rather than getting so stuck in the detail, you lose sight of the bigger picture.
One of my favourite quote echoes this sentiment superbly:
‘I don’t have to be perfect. All I have to do is show up and enjoy the messy, imperfect and beautiful journey of my life.’ Kerry Washington
One of the most profound lessons I have learned about perfectionism as it relates to my relationship, is that I’ve come to love not by finding a perfect person but learning to see an imperfect person, perfectly!
Bring it on 2016!
As I begin the New Year, it is with renewed energy and excitement. I am psyched up for success. I choose to be defined by my unwavering faith and deep belief in what I can achieve.
Even though I have felt afraid, lost and defeated, I recognise these are but fleeting moments that I have the capacity to surmount. Although I can’t stop feelings from coming up, I can take charge of what I do with them.
It is my hope as you read this blog you will find inspiration and encouragement and not be afraid to throw caution to the wind!
If fear is holding you back, it’s ok to feel that, but do it anyway! If you don’t hit your goals today, embrace your tomorrow as a new day, bringing new possibilities. If like me, you find yourself lost without a roadmap at times, create your own roadmap to the stars!
What is your route to the stars? What vision do you have for your life? As a Certified Life Coach and Professional Health Coach, I can help you design the life of your dreams. I have helped clients find a deeper sense of meaning and purpose or develop a plan for optimal health and well-being.
Turn your frown upside and use your smile to change the world! 🙂
Here’s wishing 2016 brings you an abundance of joy, happiness and peace. May the coming year be filled with amazing new insights and breathtaking adventures. Go learn new things, expand your wings and connect with good energy. Dream big, sparkle and shine and live the wonderful experiences you wish for and deserve.♥
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Be blessed, stay beautiful♥
PS The best investment you will ever make is the one you make in yourself. Invest in making your life FABULOUS with the help of a Certified Life Coach. I will work with you on a one to one basis to help you design a life you love! Drop me a line TODAY, let’s explore the possibilities!
My thanks to the designer of the graphic used as the featured image in this blog. I love the graphic so much that this is the second time I have used it. Sadly I have been unable to locate him or her to say thank you personally but hope that my appreciation is expressed in its use.